(no subject)

[naelany]

woman to woman

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man, before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary. Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware

Comments

[guavmom.livejournal.com]

Perfect! I LOVE it. Good advice, and advice I wish more than a couple of my friends would take.
They get involved in relationships that are the antithesis of this, and wonder why they fail, are so unsatisfying, and painful, yet cling to them, keep trying to breathe new life into them, and are abashed when they fail. Then, they run right out and get involved in another, similar relationship almost immediately, without taking a break to take stock of themselves and their choices, only to fail again, with downward spiraling self esteem. This, of course, makes them believe that they don't deserve any better, and each repetition of this negative cycle only serves to reinforce their low expectations. It becomes a self fullfilling prophecy.

Thanks for posting this. Unfortunately, I doubt that those who need to see it will..

[naelany.livejournal.com]

Don't you just ^_~. And same here!

And you're absolutely right. It's painful to watch, isn't it?

Post it yourself, pass it on to those you think need to see it. I did. I mailed it to a few of my friends that don't have LJ, and asked them to pass it on also

[chainkill.livejournal.com]

The advice in this post is great, when taken in moderation. Yes, it is important to be able to stand alone, to have your own identity and demand awesomeness... But don't take it too far. There is no such thing as perfection, and compromise is necessary.

By this advice have I lived my life... which is why I'm single right now.

[naelany.livejournal.com]

The point to what's said in this post, is made, because a lot of women define themselves by their men and whether or not they're in a relationship (be it good or bad). They will come close to erasing themselves, for the "benefit" of "keeping a guy". A lot of women (and some men) also believe that they cannot be "whole" and happy, without a man (again, good or bad) in their life. Often, this leads them to make very poor choices in relationships.
This post was a reminder of that, and to remind women (and again, some men) that they are worthwhile as a person, and should be treated as such, and not settle "just in the hope of it getting better".

I'm not sure I totally understand your last sentence. By what advice are you now single? To be perfect and expect perfection? Or to not settle? Yes, compromise is important. It's never ruled out. But it has to go both ways ^_~

Thanks!

[sewpixie.myopenid.com (from livejournal.com)]

Great post!

Re: Thanks!

[naelany.livejournal.com]

*blinks* Are you the same sewpixie as the one I swapped with on Craftster?????


Thanks lol